Dear friends and my future self,
It has been another year since I posted my last blog entry on 12/31/2013. I just spent some time to read through what I wrote at the end of 2013 with 2013's year end summary and 2014's new year's resolution. I was very happy to realize that 2014 went by with my realizing most of my resolution for the year, all the while feeling much happier and more satisfied with work and home life. Overall, I must say that 2014 has been a great year for me.
Here is a recap of my new year's resolution for 2014 with comments based on real results for the year:
1. Focus on health. Work out at least 3 times a week for 20-30 mins each time. - [1/2/2015] I was able to practice yoga for 3 times per week for quite some time this year and I do plan to continue this practice once I go back to work in 2015.
2. Connect the mind and the body through meditation or other similar activities to calm the mind and quiet anxiety. Stop worrying about the future or obsessing with the past. Focus instead on the current moment. Be more relaxed. - [1/2/2015] Yoga helps a lot in this regard. I am truly more relaxed even with higher job pressure and responsibilities than before. I also attribute this change to the work environment change that happened this year. Looking back, I am truly grateful for this career change that happened in 2014, which enabled me to leverage my strength and natural capabilities in a more autonomous way. With increased level of personal awareness built upon real life experiences, I believe more firmly that I can function much better when in a highly trusted and autonomous environment.
3. Practice listening skills when communicating with other people. Practice self-awareness and emotional intelligence skills. Voice my emotion and feelings to DH and other people if needed calmly and consciously. Resolve any conflicts at home and at work with grace and empathy. [1/2/2015] Not only did I improve a lot in communication skills, my dear husband also improved a lot. I call this in-sync personal growth/development between a happily married couple. If you are also interested in this field, I highly recommend the classic book "How to Win Friends and Influence People".
4. Switch to a Marketing role, enjoy work more, and be able to apply more of my strengths to work. [1/2/2015] I am proud to say that I was able to switch to a Marketing role in April of 2014 and later expanded my responsibility into Program Management. In both jobs, I feel that I was able to apply my strengths to work in a very flexible and empowering environment. For this I am truly grateful to my current boss. He is the best boss I have ever had!
5. Dedicate time to family. Make it a priority to spend quality time with the kids and DH. - [1/2/2015] I have become increasing aware of the significance that family life can have on me. I draw power from my beloved family members and also pass my energies on to my family to fuel their growths. For 2015, I wish to spend even more effort on this front to improve the quality time that I spend with DH and our beautiful kids. I love them so so much!
Besides the above accomplishments for the year, I am also very proud of DH and myself for growing to be able to take care of our two kids entirely by ourselves without helpers (besides the daycare center of course) while maintaining full time jobs and very good work performance for both of us. For this I am truly grateful to my beloved husband, who is the best husband in the whole world!
This past December 2014 DH and I also celebrated our 10 year anniversary for our marriage. In retrospect, we can clearly see how each one of us has grown over the years, through personal effort and mutual encouragement and influence. A good marriage is enriching, enlightening, uplifting and mutually complementary. I believe that our marriage is all of those and more. I am confident that DH and I will keep it that way for the many many years to come.
For the beautiful 2015 that has already arrived, I wish that I can achieve the following things in this year:
1. Dedicate even more to my family. Spend regular quality time with our kids and DH. Build the family life and family bond just like another career for me.
2. Focus on personal health. Maintain the exercise routine of 3 times of yoga classes per week. Go to bed early and eat well.
3. To achieve meaningful and quantifiable milestones on the job.
4. ...... One secret wish that I will leave to myself here. :)
I truly believe that if one is serious about a goal and actively works toward it, one is bound to achieve it. What are your 2015 goals? How about writing them down to get a head start at realizing them?
I wish everyone a truly enjoyable 2015!
Cheers,
Lucy
Friday, January 2, 2015
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
2013 Year End Summary and 2014 New Year's Resolution
I cannot believe that the year 2013 is officially leaving us and that the all new year 2014 is upon us. It further astonishes me that I didn't leave any footprint on this blog for the entire 2013. I decide to prelude my 2014 with a year end summary of 2013, hoping that this can bring me a more exciting, fulfilling and fruitful 2014.
On the surface, the year 2013 was a little uneventful. At least it appeared to be that way when I tried to recall any major events in this year. The time flew by as I ground through the day-to-day activities at work and at home. Sometimes I couldn't even recall what month it was in the year. Somehow the information of which day it was in the week seemed more relevant since that could tell me how many days I had to work before taking a break. This trend, if continued, can be dangerous as it numbs one's true desires and feelings, and suppresses one's dreams and ambitions. To break this vicious cycle, I decide to write this blog and post my new year's resolution for the record.
One of the few things that popped into my mind as I looked back to 2013 was the three business trips to Austin, Texas and the New York State. They stood out as highlights in the sense that they gave me a different environment that brought excitement. I also enjoyed the full independence and flexibility while on business trip. Being able to make the calls was very liberating to me. It made me feel responsible and in control. Although not being able to see my kids was a bummer, it gave me the chance to explore and discover the best work conditions/environments in which I can fully demonstrate my capabilities and potential.
Another possible highlight of the year was the several investments that I made. Hopefully they can yield handsome financial gains in the years to come. However, one thing I learnt was that pure financial excitements only bring short-term gratification. The true joy lies in the achievements that one accomplishes, the impact that one creates, and the differences that one makes to other people and the world. I will make an effort to focus on these activities for the years to come.
One of the good things of having kids is that they grow up no matter what. So the last but not the least highlight of the year was that our two adorable girls grew up healthily and happily during the year. Life sometimes can be hectic with a 3.5-year-old and a 1.5-year-old at home. It is nonetheless very rewarding and fulfilling. No matter what joy or grievances that a day's work had given me, coming home to these two cutest little persons in the world was the best reminder of life's goodness. During lunch with two colleagues today I commented on how DH and I would feel rather satisfied and grateful if we ever had the time to watch a DVD rental at home since we rarely got any time to spend together in the evening after the kids went asleep. A lot of times one or both of us had to work or take care of home chores. However, I forgot mention to my colleagues that this had been a positive thing instead. I had learnt to really make good use of my time, to be conscious about where and how I was spending my time, and to prioritize almost everything in life (including how to best sequence chores in the house).
The year 2013 might have been a very good year after all. Here is what I would like to accomplish in the year 2014 to make it more fulfilling:
1. Focus on health. Work out at least 3 times a week for 20-30 mins each time.
2. Connect the mind and the body through meditation or other similar activities to calm the mind and quiet anxiety. Stop worrying about the future or obsessing with the past. Focus instead on the current moment. Be more relaxed.
3. Practice listening skills when communicating with other people. Practice self-awareness and emotional intelligence skills. Voice my emotion and feelings to DH and other people if needed calmly and consciously. Resolve any conflicts at home and at work with grace and empathy.
4. Switch to a Marketing role, enjoy work more, and be able to apply more of my strengths to work.
5. Dedicate time to family. Make it a priority to spend quality time with the kids and DH.
I am glad that I could finish this blog before midnight -- the official end of 2013.
I look forward to an all new 2014!
Wish all my friends and family a healthy, happy, and fruitful 2014!
With love and gratitude,
Lucy
P.S. Here is a very helpful info-graphic by Anna Vital from Funders and Founders that I want to share with everybody including myself.
On the surface, the year 2013 was a little uneventful. At least it appeared to be that way when I tried to recall any major events in this year. The time flew by as I ground through the day-to-day activities at work and at home. Sometimes I couldn't even recall what month it was in the year. Somehow the information of which day it was in the week seemed more relevant since that could tell me how many days I had to work before taking a break. This trend, if continued, can be dangerous as it numbs one's true desires and feelings, and suppresses one's dreams and ambitions. To break this vicious cycle, I decide to write this blog and post my new year's resolution for the record.
One of the few things that popped into my mind as I looked back to 2013 was the three business trips to Austin, Texas and the New York State. They stood out as highlights in the sense that they gave me a different environment that brought excitement. I also enjoyed the full independence and flexibility while on business trip. Being able to make the calls was very liberating to me. It made me feel responsible and in control. Although not being able to see my kids was a bummer, it gave me the chance to explore and discover the best work conditions/environments in which I can fully demonstrate my capabilities and potential.
Another possible highlight of the year was the several investments that I made. Hopefully they can yield handsome financial gains in the years to come. However, one thing I learnt was that pure financial excitements only bring short-term gratification. The true joy lies in the achievements that one accomplishes, the impact that one creates, and the differences that one makes to other people and the world. I will make an effort to focus on these activities for the years to come.
One of the good things of having kids is that they grow up no matter what. So the last but not the least highlight of the year was that our two adorable girls grew up healthily and happily during the year. Life sometimes can be hectic with a 3.5-year-old and a 1.5-year-old at home. It is nonetheless very rewarding and fulfilling. No matter what joy or grievances that a day's work had given me, coming home to these two cutest little persons in the world was the best reminder of life's goodness. During lunch with two colleagues today I commented on how DH and I would feel rather satisfied and grateful if we ever had the time to watch a DVD rental at home since we rarely got any time to spend together in the evening after the kids went asleep. A lot of times one or both of us had to work or take care of home chores. However, I forgot mention to my colleagues that this had been a positive thing instead. I had learnt to really make good use of my time, to be conscious about where and how I was spending my time, and to prioritize almost everything in life (including how to best sequence chores in the house).
The year 2013 might have been a very good year after all. Here is what I would like to accomplish in the year 2014 to make it more fulfilling:
1. Focus on health. Work out at least 3 times a week for 20-30 mins each time.
2. Connect the mind and the body through meditation or other similar activities to calm the mind and quiet anxiety. Stop worrying about the future or obsessing with the past. Focus instead on the current moment. Be more relaxed.
3. Practice listening skills when communicating with other people. Practice self-awareness and emotional intelligence skills. Voice my emotion and feelings to DH and other people if needed calmly and consciously. Resolve any conflicts at home and at work with grace and empathy.
4. Switch to a Marketing role, enjoy work more, and be able to apply more of my strengths to work.
5. Dedicate time to family. Make it a priority to spend quality time with the kids and DH.
I am glad that I could finish this blog before midnight -- the official end of 2013.
I look forward to an all new 2014!
Wish all my friends and family a healthy, happy, and fruitful 2014!
With love and gratitude,
Lucy
P.S. Here is a very helpful info-graphic by Anna Vital from Funders and Founders that I want to share with everybody including myself.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Today's summary
Recently, through book reading and internalization, I realized how important it can be to do daily summaries. It gives you an end to each day with highlights and lowlights. You come into the realization of what has worked during the day and what needs improvement. I decided to do daily summaries either through writing or thinking in my head at the end of the day.
Below I will summarize my personal learnings from today's Corporate Learning Center's class "SMART as hell", which teaches about setting SMART goals to facilitate your success. The teacher, Glen Hughs, whom I think is brilliant with all sorts of quotes from different books, also talked about how you can manage your performance review by setting SMART goals and doing quarterly reviews.
1. It is up to you to drive the individual development plan and SMART goal setting for the next year. It in turn impacts your performance review for the coming year.
2. You are getting a leg up when you set up SMART goals that have upsides (and downsides come with upsides of course). Otherwise, with goals that do not have upsides, you are setting yourself up for ratings of 3s. I was particularly struggling with this item before, as I was not sure how I could get a 4 or a 5.
3. When you are at the individual contributor level, make sure at least a good amount of your goals is independent/does not depend too much on other people's results.
4. There are metric goals and rubric goals and both will work as long as they are clearly defined.
5. Metric goals work well for things that can be quantified.
6. Rubric goals work well for things that cannot be easily quantified and are better described and judged using different categories and qualities.
A couple of SMART goals I set for myself after the training:
1. I will redefine my annual goals with my manager to make them SMART during the next 1:1 meeting this coming Monday.
2. I will realign with my manager on my annual performance goal of 4 or above based on my performance in the first two quarters of FY13 before January 15th, 2013. (Make plans to close gaps if necessary)
Below I will summarize my personal learnings from today's Corporate Learning Center's class "SMART as hell", which teaches about setting SMART goals to facilitate your success. The teacher, Glen Hughs, whom I think is brilliant with all sorts of quotes from different books, also talked about how you can manage your performance review by setting SMART goals and doing quarterly reviews.
1. It is up to you to drive the individual development plan and SMART goal setting for the next year. It in turn impacts your performance review for the coming year.
2. You are getting a leg up when you set up SMART goals that have upsides (and downsides come with upsides of course). Otherwise, with goals that do not have upsides, you are setting yourself up for ratings of 3s. I was particularly struggling with this item before, as I was not sure how I could get a 4 or a 5.
3. When you are at the individual contributor level, make sure at least a good amount of your goals is independent/does not depend too much on other people's results.
4. There are metric goals and rubric goals and both will work as long as they are clearly defined.
5. Metric goals work well for things that can be quantified.
6. Rubric goals work well for things that cannot be easily quantified and are better described and judged using different categories and qualities.
A couple of SMART goals I set for myself after the training:
1. I will redefine my annual goals with my manager to make them SMART during the next 1:1 meeting this coming Monday.
2. I will realign with my manager on my annual performance goal of 4 or above based on my performance in the first two quarters of FY13 before January 15th, 2013. (Make plans to close gaps if necessary)
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving, I am grateful for so many things... just like how I broke into tears this past Tuesday at the Toastmasters meeting when speaking about what I am grateful of this Thanksgiving. I have a great family, many good friends, and a nice job, to name a few, yet this little 3-month-old boy on the Holiday Giving Tree's wish card does not even have an infant outfit and a warm blanket. I bought an outfit for him today and I hope he will like it. When we look at how much we already have, rather than fixating on what we don't have, we will be much happier and will attract more great things to come into our lives. Thank you all, my friends, for being around. I feel so fortunate to have you all in my life. Hopefully I can be a helpful part in your lives whenever you need me. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Friday, November 9, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Going back to work -- getting back into the game
Today I had the honor to attend the HYSTA Chinese Executive Event with my husband, at the Microsoft campus in Mountain View. The event was aimed at bringing more Chinese/Chinese American engineers into the Executive suite in Corporate America. Among the panelists are these amazing Chinese American leaders who have great experiences climbing up the ladder in big corporations as well as building up successful startup companies/teams. They all had great stories and advices to share and I really appreciated them taking their time to come. The best way to thank them is to practice their teachings and pass their messages along. Here I will try to summarize what I picked up from today's event.
First and foremost, one has to find something that he/she is passionate about. I remembered a sentence that I learnt from some book: "do what you love and you will never work a day." If one can find the area that he/she is really interested in, they will have the burning desire to become better at it. This way, success will follow. This is not to encourage people to constantly switch jobs to find the "right" one that they really love. Rather, as one of my mentors said, one should really get to know themselves first, and understand their values and what are driving them at the end of the day. If your job aligns with your values and beliefs, you will be motivated and love what you do.
Salesforce's COO George Hu mentioned intentionally choosing an industry and an environment that allow you to thrive. There were also some discussions about the difference in being in a small company vs. a big company. George, who had chosen to be in small companies in the early years of his career, said that things are more fluid in smaller companies and you have great access to senior people. David Ku, CVP at Microsoft, mentioned that in big companies, what and who you can influence really matter. Building trust and credibility will open up opportunities. In either case, though, you need to find your own advocates who will vouch for you.
Personal branding was also a hot topic that every panelist had something to say about. I think everyone now agrees that we, as different individuals in the workplace, are products to be sold. We need to create and maintain a good personal brand to better sell our skills and talents. Other people's perception about you is their reality. If some stakeholders have negative impressions about you, you will get stuck. In this situation, a brand changing campaign is desperately needed. You can either do this through demonstrating your true self to clear the misunderstanding, or have people whom the stakeholders trust clarify things for you. In any case, you have to perform well once given the stage.
Communication has always been an important point that everybody stresses. Nobody knows what you have been doing unless you go out and communicate with people. Always keep a transparent line of communication with your boss. If you want to have skip level communication with someone, always find a connection for introduction. Executives almost always want to know what is going on within the organization and you waste opportunities by not communicating. Executives also like to get to know people who really take the initiatives and go the extra miles, rather than people who have the mere purpose of being seen by them.
As an extension to communicating with your boss, one has to really try to understand what your boss really wants. You can have rational discussion with your boss once or twice per year to ask for opportunities to present to senior executives, if your boss forgets to purposely give you such chances.
Several other tips:
1. Dont's break relationships to get ahead.
2. Act fast to correct mistakes. Sometimes you need to quit and end things quickly. Do not always think that you can fix the issue.
3. When presented with a fork in life, sometimes the key is to just pick one direction without thinking about the what-ifs.
4. Get to know yourself well. Be comfortable with who you are and where you are. Make objective judgement calls. Be willing to adapt those aspects of yourself that are not effective.
5. Know who the decision makers are and what drives them. It is more of an art than science.
6. Regarding work life balance, George mentioned about taking long vacations. Instead of a week's vacation, take months' vacation. Presell your boss the idea of your long vacation (e.g. 18 months before, 6 months before, 1 months before, etc...).
7. Some good habits the panelists have: keep your email inbox empty; go to work really early to get ready for the day; allocate time to think; morning/night reflections.
8. Think different. Just do it. Keep walking.
Attending this event was such a great way for me to prepare for my return to work. Navigating through career is more like a game. There are rules and you are supposed to play with them to survive and thrive.
Hey, I am back into the game again and I can't wait.
First and foremost, one has to find something that he/she is passionate about. I remembered a sentence that I learnt from some book: "do what you love and you will never work a day." If one can find the area that he/she is really interested in, they will have the burning desire to become better at it. This way, success will follow. This is not to encourage people to constantly switch jobs to find the "right" one that they really love. Rather, as one of my mentors said, one should really get to know themselves first, and understand their values and what are driving them at the end of the day. If your job aligns with your values and beliefs, you will be motivated and love what you do.
Salesforce's COO George Hu mentioned intentionally choosing an industry and an environment that allow you to thrive. There were also some discussions about the difference in being in a small company vs. a big company. George, who had chosen to be in small companies in the early years of his career, said that things are more fluid in smaller companies and you have great access to senior people. David Ku, CVP at Microsoft, mentioned that in big companies, what and who you can influence really matter. Building trust and credibility will open up opportunities. In either case, though, you need to find your own advocates who will vouch for you.
Personal branding was also a hot topic that every panelist had something to say about. I think everyone now agrees that we, as different individuals in the workplace, are products to be sold. We need to create and maintain a good personal brand to better sell our skills and talents. Other people's perception about you is their reality. If some stakeholders have negative impressions about you, you will get stuck. In this situation, a brand changing campaign is desperately needed. You can either do this through demonstrating your true self to clear the misunderstanding, or have people whom the stakeholders trust clarify things for you. In any case, you have to perform well once given the stage.
Communication has always been an important point that everybody stresses. Nobody knows what you have been doing unless you go out and communicate with people. Always keep a transparent line of communication with your boss. If you want to have skip level communication with someone, always find a connection for introduction. Executives almost always want to know what is going on within the organization and you waste opportunities by not communicating. Executives also like to get to know people who really take the initiatives and go the extra miles, rather than people who have the mere purpose of being seen by them.
As an extension to communicating with your boss, one has to really try to understand what your boss really wants. You can have rational discussion with your boss once or twice per year to ask for opportunities to present to senior executives, if your boss forgets to purposely give you such chances.
Several other tips:
1. Dont's break relationships to get ahead.
2. Act fast to correct mistakes. Sometimes you need to quit and end things quickly. Do not always think that you can fix the issue.
3. When presented with a fork in life, sometimes the key is to just pick one direction without thinking about the what-ifs.
4. Get to know yourself well. Be comfortable with who you are and where you are. Make objective judgement calls. Be willing to adapt those aspects of yourself that are not effective.
5. Know who the decision makers are and what drives them. It is more of an art than science.
6. Regarding work life balance, George mentioned about taking long vacations. Instead of a week's vacation, take months' vacation. Presell your boss the idea of your long vacation (e.g. 18 months before, 6 months before, 1 months before, etc...).
7. Some good habits the panelists have: keep your email inbox empty; go to work really early to get ready for the day; allocate time to think; morning/night reflections.
8. Think different. Just do it. Keep walking.
Attending this event was such a great way for me to prepare for my return to work. Navigating through career is more like a game. There are rules and you are supposed to play with them to survive and thrive.
Hey, I am back into the game again and I can't wait.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Focus
I have been actively learning and practicing the Klemmer work for a while now and there are several sentences which I like the best and I will quote them below for my own references later.
1. "In this world, the most committed win."
2. "The fairest way to measure anything is by results, often harsh, always fair."
3. "We are never without the ability to choose in life."
4. "Compassionate Samurai anchor reality to their vision. Average people anchor their vision to reality."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Out of the several chapters of the "Compassionate Samurai" book that I have read so far, the chapter "Focus" was the one that touched me the most.
I had realized that I needed to work on my focus before reading this chapter. I felt that I had so many parallel leads in my mind and each of them would take up some memory space while I was trying to process something in my brain at any given time. It actually slowed me down significantly in terms of the efficiency of any given task that I needed to work on, yet each of the thoughts appeared to be so interesting that I did not want to completely erase them from my system.
The book shed light on me through Brian telling one of his personal stories regarding how he had totally ignored the existence of a new 54-inch TV in his living room, since he was too focused on his thoughts. Brian was trying to let people know that you should watch out for the 54-inch TV opportunities in life while being focused, as it is quite possible to miss it when you are too focused (like what Brian himself did). In his words, you should be "simultaneously focused and have 360-degree awareness". But I was totally the contrary to Brian. I seemed to have always been looking out for any possible 54-inch TV opportunities in life so that I failed to focus on any given task on hand. This could also be harmful.
A couple of things that I will be working on as suggested by Brian:
1. "Focus on what's in front of you and then switch... The speed with which you can shift your focus is an ability you want to spend time developing."
2. When having a problem to be solved, focus on a solution rather than the problem. Ask the question "How can I?" instead of "Can I?"
Now my focus is to focus.
1. "In this world, the most committed win."
2. "The fairest way to measure anything is by results, often harsh, always fair."
3. "We are never without the ability to choose in life."
4. "Compassionate Samurai anchor reality to their vision. Average people anchor their vision to reality."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Out of the several chapters of the "Compassionate Samurai" book that I have read so far, the chapter "Focus" was the one that touched me the most.
I had realized that I needed to work on my focus before reading this chapter. I felt that I had so many parallel leads in my mind and each of them would take up some memory space while I was trying to process something in my brain at any given time. It actually slowed me down significantly in terms of the efficiency of any given task that I needed to work on, yet each of the thoughts appeared to be so interesting that I did not want to completely erase them from my system.
The book shed light on me through Brian telling one of his personal stories regarding how he had totally ignored the existence of a new 54-inch TV in his living room, since he was too focused on his thoughts. Brian was trying to let people know that you should watch out for the 54-inch TV opportunities in life while being focused, as it is quite possible to miss it when you are too focused (like what Brian himself did). In his words, you should be "simultaneously focused and have 360-degree awareness". But I was totally the contrary to Brian. I seemed to have always been looking out for any possible 54-inch TV opportunities in life so that I failed to focus on any given task on hand. This could also be harmful.
A couple of things that I will be working on as suggested by Brian:
1. "Focus on what's in front of you and then switch... The speed with which you can shift your focus is an ability you want to spend time developing."
2. When having a problem to be solved, focus on a solution rather than the problem. Ask the question "How can I?" instead of "Can I?"
Now my focus is to focus.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
New Year's Resolution
I have been thinking about my new year's resolution for a while and now I think it is time for me to share it with everybody so that I and everybody else can hold me accountable for my goals this year. Frankly speaking, this is the first time that I have treated it so seriously. If I say it, I will achieve it.
For the year of 2012, I would like to achieve:
1. Update my LinkedIn profile by the end of January.
2. Get within 120lbs by the end of the year, post the second baby.
3. Pass GMAT test by the end of the year. (Originally I planned to take the test during my maternity leave, but was persuaded by my fellow book club members to take care of myself and my new baby first during this critical period of time. So the timeline was changed.)
4. Do one thing out of my comfort zone each week. I will follow up each week on the progress of this goal.
Would you care to share your new year's resolution?
For the year of 2012, I would like to achieve:
1. Update my LinkedIn profile by the end of January.
2. Get within 120lbs by the end of the year, post the second baby.
3. Pass GMAT test by the end of the year. (Originally I planned to take the test during my maternity leave, but was persuaded by my fellow book club members to take care of myself and my new baby first during this critical period of time. So the timeline was changed.)
4. Do one thing out of my comfort zone each week. I will follow up each week on the progress of this goal.
Would you care to share your new year's resolution?
Friday, January 20, 2012
Invitation to the Champions Workshop
Dear all,
I hope this email finds you well, especially when the biggest holiday for the Chinese people, the Chinese New Year, is right around the corner! I wish a happy and fruitful Year of Dragon to you and your family!
In this festive season, have you stopped and thought about what you will achieve in the year of 2012? What is your New Year’s Resolution? Even more, do you know where you are going to be in 5 years? If the answer to any of these questions is unclear, or you are not sure if you will achieve the results you wanted, then please read along as I truly believe this event can help.
I would like to share with you a journey that I have been enjoying since I attended an eye-opening event. I have to admit that if you had asked me the above questions one year ago, I would not have had answers ready for you. I would probably even avoid thinking about them since I believed I would figure it out along the way and the answers would come to me eventually. But the truth is if you do not actively seek out the BEST answers for you, you will never have them and it will take much longer, if not forever, for you to achieve them.
We are so busy doing what we think we have to do, day in and day out, and never had the chance to get around to being who we really want to be, doing what we really want to do, and having what we really want to have, in our career, our marriage, and our life. If this is the case, some changes are due.
I invite you to read my blog if you have the time and witness the changes that I have been experiencing so far. http://lucyscareerblog.blogspot.com/ I know I am far from perfect and I am still practicing and experiencing changes every day. It will be a life-long journey and I wish I had started much earlier. That is why I am sending this email to you hoping that you could start the journey too.
Please do not block out my message from your brain since I heard that little voice in your mind, “Who are you to tell me what to do? Do you think you are better than I am?” I promise you that would be my response if you had sent me an email like this one year ago, when I believed that I knew no less than anybody else. But I invite you to keep an open-mind and see what it is about first before judging anybody. Often times, we don’t know what we don’t know.
With all the suspense, let me introduce to you the Champions workshop provided by Klemmer & Associates (K & A) on Saturday Feb. 11th, 1-4PM in Milpitas.
This upcoming Champions Workshop is a great way to get exposed to the programs. I encourage you to sign up as soon as possible because the seats are limited and they only come to this area about once a year so that tickets are sold out fast. Please check the link http://www.klemmer.com/workshop/results.asp?sid=3689 to purchase tickets online or contact me directly for tickets ($20 per ticket). You also get a free copy of the #1 Wall Street Journal Business Bestseller “Compassionate Samurai - Being Extraordinary in an Ordinary World” if you are among the first 100 to secure your seat.
Experience shows that this could be the best gift you give to yourself, your spouse, and the friends and work associates you like and care about in 2012. I am curious, would you be willing to trust my word for it and join me at the event?
Happy Holidays and wishing you a wonderful Year of Dragon!
To your better success and happiness,
Lucy
P.S. Come with your spouse – free daycare is provided for your children for supporting your growth!
P.P.S. Please believe me that sending this email to you was not easy for me and it counts towards my challenge to myself for this year – to do at least one thing out of my comfort zone each week! Thank you for reading this long email. J
Monday, January 9, 2012
To love is to accept
I had been trying to persuade my husband into attending the Personal Mastery Seminar by K&A for the past several months and did not succeed. After I came back from the kick-off party of the Redwood Forest Club (formed by several PM graduates) last night, I realized by how much the PM event could help both him and me and thus started another round of persuasion today.
After I enumerated all sorts of benefits and rewards that PM can bring, the answer I got was still a firm "NO". Some of his reasons seemed like excuses to me, some were even quite silly. I was about to lose my patience (as I "sometimes" do with my husband) and asked him," How come that you cannot just trust me and go? What will you lose if you go? You will have the chance to bash it unmercifully after you really get to know what it is. You can even accuse me of anything you want. (My husband was referring to it as a cult...)" He got a little emotional as well, "I just don't understand why I do not have the freedom to choose what I would like to do or not to do. I remember that you have told me many times that you do not like being told what to do. If so, why are you still forcing others to do what they don't like to do? Can't you understand that nobody likes being told or forced to do things? I have given you the freedom to attend whatever events you like. Can't you give me the freedom to choose too?"
All of a sudden, I had a revelation moment, just like the ones that I had during PM. My husband was right. I should not have imposed my ideas on him, even if I thought that they would benefit him. Everybody has their own logical thinking and reasoning and they would know themselves the best in the end. Maybe I really did not understand how much my husband was worried about me being 8-month pregnant and taking care of Guagua by myself if he went to the PM event. Maybe he really is at the stage where he knows what he wants and how he will get there and does not need too much outside help. I should be thankful that he is not just agreeing with whatever I say. After all, he is my husband, who has his own judgement. And, to me, I learnt the lesson that TO LOVE IS TO ACCEPT.
That is the end of the discussion, that is, until he sees some major positive changes in me (I guess).
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thoughts after the book club meeting
Yesterday's book club meeting was my first time joining the event. It was so nice to meet my former classmates from the Personal Mastery Seminar. Just seeing them and discussing with them brought back the momentum I had during the PM seminar.
I admit that I did not carry on the momentum since I came back due to different reasons. I even plan to give up my 90-day goal, which was to learn Japanese, since there has been changes of circumstances and now I do not have the imminent need to learn Japanese. There are other more important things that I need to take care of in the current stage of my life. Anyhow, "no excuse" should be the reply I use after reading the first chapter of Brian Klemmer's book "Compassionate Samurai", which simply says that if you are really committed to something, you do not have any excuses but to carry out your commitment. I admit flat out that I failed to carry out this commitment and I will do my best for the next one.
I had the compelling urge to write something down after today's meeting since the topic and the sharings during the meeting brought back so many past experiences and memories that I would like to share with others. Hopefully they will find it helpful to some extent. For privacy concerns, I will not discuss any individual's experiences but to refer to it in general. I hope my classmates will not find it offensive.
During the meeting, more than one person shared their uncertainty about what they want for their life. In retrospect, I experienced exactly the same thing in my entire PhD life at school. In all those 5 something years, I was searching for the direction of my life after graduation. I did not feel very enthusiastic about my PhD topic, which was probably one reason that I did not know what to do after graduation. Otherwise, I would probably have gladly became a professor somewhere. Although being a professor seemed glorious to lots of PhD students, including myself in the beginning of my PhD time, I knew that I was not the type of person who could sit in the lab all day working on some theory without interacting with the outside world. You could tell me that professors do more than that, or just do not do that. But it was what being a professor looked like to me back then.
After giving up on professorship, I started searching for the right direction. I experienced cycles and cycles between finding the seemingly promising direction and later vetoing it and restarting all over again. I went through rounds and rounds of discussions with my husband, to whom the whole thing did not make too much sense in the first place. He is the type of person who would stick to his current direction and make every effort to do it right. He thinks that all other directions will probably be similar anyways and he would like to stick to the current one and achieve his best, unless there is some event that can prove the direction to be completely wrong. As I have later realized, there is no right or wrong in this situation. It is just a difference among different people. My husband could be right when he told me that I could have made bigger progress academically with the time and effort I spent searching for my direction.
I was the type of person who would like to know what choices are out there before making a commitment for life. Just to give you an idea, let me list all the things I have done during those years in order to find my current direction and professional goal, which are just perfect for me. I took several semesters of classes in Financial Engineering and later got a Masters from the IEOR department, as back then I planned to become a Quant on the Wall Street someday. I took several classes from the EE department and later attempted to get another Masters degree in that area but had to give up due to my pregnancy. I even thought about becoming an IP lawyer and took a class from the law school, which I enjoyed but had to drop it later also due to my pregnancy. (sorry, excuses again...) I also taught classes and thought about becoming a teaching professor somewhere close to home so that I can take care of the family. I dreamed about being a stay-at-home-mom sometimes as well. Or just simply openning up a flower shop or coffee-and-book bar
in China. I admit that I was young and restless. :)
However scattered or crazy these ideas may seem to others, I actually do not regret those days that I spend thinking and rationalizing these choices, as I believe that it was for these efforts that I am currently so certain about the job that I have now and the career path that I will take.
The purpose of sharing this past episode of my life is to encourage those people who think they do not know their goal of life to keep searching for it. If your desire is strong enough, you will find it, although you probably don't know how.
Frankly speaking, my current job does not fall into any of the catergories that I had thought about, yet it seemed so perfect for me once it knocked on the door, as I had analyzed my strengths and weaknesses so thoroughly during the search stage that I was so certain that THIS IS IT!
I hope all of you out there can find the goal or goals for your life. There are no right or wrong, or no big or small goals. It should be something that makes you feel fulfilled once you realize it in your life. Once you are certain about this, other things will become so much more clear and you will know what should be the right thing to do at any time instants. You will not be zigzaging but running directly towards your goal. How exciting it that?
Enjoy the process of searching!
I admit that I did not carry on the momentum since I came back due to different reasons. I even plan to give up my 90-day goal, which was to learn Japanese, since there has been changes of circumstances and now I do not have the imminent need to learn Japanese. There are other more important things that I need to take care of in the current stage of my life. Anyhow, "no excuse" should be the reply I use after reading the first chapter of Brian Klemmer's book "Compassionate Samurai", which simply says that if you are really committed to something, you do not have any excuses but to carry out your commitment. I admit flat out that I failed to carry out this commitment and I will do my best for the next one.
I had the compelling urge to write something down after today's meeting since the topic and the sharings during the meeting brought back so many past experiences and memories that I would like to share with others. Hopefully they will find it helpful to some extent. For privacy concerns, I will not discuss any individual's experiences but to refer to it in general. I hope my classmates will not find it offensive.
During the meeting, more than one person shared their uncertainty about what they want for their life. In retrospect, I experienced exactly the same thing in my entire PhD life at school. In all those 5 something years, I was searching for the direction of my life after graduation. I did not feel very enthusiastic about my PhD topic, which was probably one reason that I did not know what to do after graduation. Otherwise, I would probably have gladly became a professor somewhere. Although being a professor seemed glorious to lots of PhD students, including myself in the beginning of my PhD time, I knew that I was not the type of person who could sit in the lab all day working on some theory without interacting with the outside world. You could tell me that professors do more than that, or just do not do that. But it was what being a professor looked like to me back then.
After giving up on professorship, I started searching for the right direction. I experienced cycles and cycles between finding the seemingly promising direction and later vetoing it and restarting all over again. I went through rounds and rounds of discussions with my husband, to whom the whole thing did not make too much sense in the first place. He is the type of person who would stick to his current direction and make every effort to do it right. He thinks that all other directions will probably be similar anyways and he would like to stick to the current one and achieve his best, unless there is some event that can prove the direction to be completely wrong. As I have later realized, there is no right or wrong in this situation. It is just a difference among different people. My husband could be right when he told me that I could have made bigger progress academically with the time and effort I spent searching for my direction.
I was the type of person who would like to know what choices are out there before making a commitment for life. Just to give you an idea, let me list all the things I have done during those years in order to find my current direction and professional goal, which are just perfect for me. I took several semesters of classes in Financial Engineering and later got a Masters from the IEOR department, as back then I planned to become a Quant on the Wall Street someday. I took several classes from the EE department and later attempted to get another Masters degree in that area but had to give up due to my pregnancy. I even thought about becoming an IP lawyer and took a class from the law school, which I enjoyed but had to drop it later also due to my pregnancy. (sorry, excuses again...) I also taught classes and thought about becoming a teaching professor somewhere close to home so that I can take care of the family. I dreamed about being a stay-at-home-mom sometimes as well. Or just simply openning up a flower shop or coffee-and-book bar
in China. I admit that I was young and restless. :)
However scattered or crazy these ideas may seem to others, I actually do not regret those days that I spend thinking and rationalizing these choices, as I believe that it was for these efforts that I am currently so certain about the job that I have now and the career path that I will take.
The purpose of sharing this past episode of my life is to encourage those people who think they do not know their goal of life to keep searching for it. If your desire is strong enough, you will find it, although you probably don't know how.
Frankly speaking, my current job does not fall into any of the catergories that I had thought about, yet it seemed so perfect for me once it knocked on the door, as I had analyzed my strengths and weaknesses so thoroughly during the search stage that I was so certain that THIS IS IT!
I hope all of you out there can find the goal or goals for your life. There are no right or wrong, or no big or small goals. It should be something that makes you feel fulfilled once you realize it in your life. Once you are certain about this, other things will become so much more clear and you will know what should be the right thing to do at any time instants. You will not be zigzaging but running directly towards your goal. How exciting it that?
Enjoy the process of searching!
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