I have been actively learning and practicing the Klemmer work for a while now and there are several sentences which I like the best and I will quote them below for my own references later.
1. "In this world, the most committed win."
2. "The fairest way to measure anything is by results, often harsh, always fair."
3. "We are never without the ability to choose in life."
4. "Compassionate Samurai anchor reality to their vision. Average people anchor their vision to reality."
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Out of the several chapters of the "Compassionate Samurai" book that I have read so far, the chapter "Focus" was the one that touched me the most.
I had realized that I needed to work on my focus before reading this chapter. I felt that I had so many parallel leads in my mind and each of them would take up some memory space while I was trying to process something in my brain at any given time. It actually slowed me down significantly in terms of the efficiency of any given task that I needed to work on, yet each of the thoughts appeared to be so interesting that I did not want to completely erase them from my system.
The book shed light on me through Brian telling one of his personal stories regarding how he had totally ignored the existence of a new 54-inch TV in his living room, since he was too focused on his thoughts. Brian was trying to let people know that you should watch out for the 54-inch TV opportunities in life while being focused, as it is quite possible to miss it when you are too focused (like what Brian himself did). In his words, you should be "simultaneously focused and have 360-degree awareness". But I was totally the contrary to Brian. I seemed to have always been looking out for any possible 54-inch TV opportunities in life so that I failed to focus on any given task on hand. This could also be harmful.
A couple of things that I will be working on as suggested by Brian:
1. "Focus on what's in front of you and then switch... The speed with which you can shift your focus is an ability you want to spend time developing."
2. When having a problem to be solved, focus on a solution rather than the problem. Ask the question "How can I?" instead of "Can I?"
Now my focus is to focus.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
New Year's Resolution
I have been thinking about my new year's resolution for a while and now I think it is time for me to share it with everybody so that I and everybody else can hold me accountable for my goals this year. Frankly speaking, this is the first time that I have treated it so seriously. If I say it, I will achieve it.
For the year of 2012, I would like to achieve:
1. Update my LinkedIn profile by the end of January.
2. Get within 120lbs by the end of the year, post the second baby.
3. Pass GMAT test by the end of the year. (Originally I planned to take the test during my maternity leave, but was persuaded by my fellow book club members to take care of myself and my new baby first during this critical period of time. So the timeline was changed.)
4. Do one thing out of my comfort zone each week. I will follow up each week on the progress of this goal.
Would you care to share your new year's resolution?
For the year of 2012, I would like to achieve:
1. Update my LinkedIn profile by the end of January.
2. Get within 120lbs by the end of the year, post the second baby.
3. Pass GMAT test by the end of the year. (Originally I planned to take the test during my maternity leave, but was persuaded by my fellow book club members to take care of myself and my new baby first during this critical period of time. So the timeline was changed.)
4. Do one thing out of my comfort zone each week. I will follow up each week on the progress of this goal.
Would you care to share your new year's resolution?
Friday, January 20, 2012
Invitation to the Champions Workshop
Dear all,
I hope this email finds you well, especially when the biggest holiday for the Chinese people, the Chinese New Year, is right around the corner! I wish a happy and fruitful Year of Dragon to you and your family!
In this festive season, have you stopped and thought about what you will achieve in the year of 2012? What is your New Year’s Resolution? Even more, do you know where you are going to be in 5 years? If the answer to any of these questions is unclear, or you are not sure if you will achieve the results you wanted, then please read along as I truly believe this event can help.
I would like to share with you a journey that I have been enjoying since I attended an eye-opening event. I have to admit that if you had asked me the above questions one year ago, I would not have had answers ready for you. I would probably even avoid thinking about them since I believed I would figure it out along the way and the answers would come to me eventually. But the truth is if you do not actively seek out the BEST answers for you, you will never have them and it will take much longer, if not forever, for you to achieve them.
We are so busy doing what we think we have to do, day in and day out, and never had the chance to get around to being who we really want to be, doing what we really want to do, and having what we really want to have, in our career, our marriage, and our life. If this is the case, some changes are due.
I invite you to read my blog if you have the time and witness the changes that I have been experiencing so far. http://lucyscareerblog.blogspot.com/ I know I am far from perfect and I am still practicing and experiencing changes every day. It will be a life-long journey and I wish I had started much earlier. That is why I am sending this email to you hoping that you could start the journey too.
Please do not block out my message from your brain since I heard that little voice in your mind, “Who are you to tell me what to do? Do you think you are better than I am?” I promise you that would be my response if you had sent me an email like this one year ago, when I believed that I knew no less than anybody else. But I invite you to keep an open-mind and see what it is about first before judging anybody. Often times, we don’t know what we don’t know.
With all the suspense, let me introduce to you the Champions workshop provided by Klemmer & Associates (K & A) on Saturday Feb. 11th, 1-4PM in Milpitas.
This upcoming Champions Workshop is a great way to get exposed to the programs. I encourage you to sign up as soon as possible because the seats are limited and they only come to this area about once a year so that tickets are sold out fast. Please check the link http://www.klemmer.com/workshop/results.asp?sid=3689 to purchase tickets online or contact me directly for tickets ($20 per ticket). You also get a free copy of the #1 Wall Street Journal Business Bestseller “Compassionate Samurai - Being Extraordinary in an Ordinary World” if you are among the first 100 to secure your seat.
Experience shows that this could be the best gift you give to yourself, your spouse, and the friends and work associates you like and care about in 2012. I am curious, would you be willing to trust my word for it and join me at the event?
Happy Holidays and wishing you a wonderful Year of Dragon!
To your better success and happiness,
Lucy
P.S. Come with your spouse – free daycare is provided for your children for supporting your growth!
P.P.S. Please believe me that sending this email to you was not easy for me and it counts towards my challenge to myself for this year – to do at least one thing out of my comfort zone each week! Thank you for reading this long email. J
Monday, January 9, 2012
To love is to accept
I had been trying to persuade my husband into attending the Personal Mastery Seminar by K&A for the past several months and did not succeed. After I came back from the kick-off party of the Redwood Forest Club (formed by several PM graduates) last night, I realized by how much the PM event could help both him and me and thus started another round of persuasion today.
After I enumerated all sorts of benefits and rewards that PM can bring, the answer I got was still a firm "NO". Some of his reasons seemed like excuses to me, some were even quite silly. I was about to lose my patience (as I "sometimes" do with my husband) and asked him," How come that you cannot just trust me and go? What will you lose if you go? You will have the chance to bash it unmercifully after you really get to know what it is. You can even accuse me of anything you want. (My husband was referring to it as a cult...)" He got a little emotional as well, "I just don't understand why I do not have the freedom to choose what I would like to do or not to do. I remember that you have told me many times that you do not like being told what to do. If so, why are you still forcing others to do what they don't like to do? Can't you understand that nobody likes being told or forced to do things? I have given you the freedom to attend whatever events you like. Can't you give me the freedom to choose too?"
All of a sudden, I had a revelation moment, just like the ones that I had during PM. My husband was right. I should not have imposed my ideas on him, even if I thought that they would benefit him. Everybody has their own logical thinking and reasoning and they would know themselves the best in the end. Maybe I really did not understand how much my husband was worried about me being 8-month pregnant and taking care of Guagua by myself if he went to the PM event. Maybe he really is at the stage where he knows what he wants and how he will get there and does not need too much outside help. I should be thankful that he is not just agreeing with whatever I say. After all, he is my husband, who has his own judgement. And, to me, I learnt the lesson that TO LOVE IS TO ACCEPT.
That is the end of the discussion, that is, until he sees some major positive changes in me (I guess).
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thoughts after the book club meeting
Yesterday's book club meeting was my first time joining the event. It was so nice to meet my former classmates from the Personal Mastery Seminar. Just seeing them and discussing with them brought back the momentum I had during the PM seminar.
I admit that I did not carry on the momentum since I came back due to different reasons. I even plan to give up my 90-day goal, which was to learn Japanese, since there has been changes of circumstances and now I do not have the imminent need to learn Japanese. There are other more important things that I need to take care of in the current stage of my life. Anyhow, "no excuse" should be the reply I use after reading the first chapter of Brian Klemmer's book "Compassionate Samurai", which simply says that if you are really committed to something, you do not have any excuses but to carry out your commitment. I admit flat out that I failed to carry out this commitment and I will do my best for the next one.
I had the compelling urge to write something down after today's meeting since the topic and the sharings during the meeting brought back so many past experiences and memories that I would like to share with others. Hopefully they will find it helpful to some extent. For privacy concerns, I will not discuss any individual's experiences but to refer to it in general. I hope my classmates will not find it offensive.
During the meeting, more than one person shared their uncertainty about what they want for their life. In retrospect, I experienced exactly the same thing in my entire PhD life at school. In all those 5 something years, I was searching for the direction of my life after graduation. I did not feel very enthusiastic about my PhD topic, which was probably one reason that I did not know what to do after graduation. Otherwise, I would probably have gladly became a professor somewhere. Although being a professor seemed glorious to lots of PhD students, including myself in the beginning of my PhD time, I knew that I was not the type of person who could sit in the lab all day working on some theory without interacting with the outside world. You could tell me that professors do more than that, or just do not do that. But it was what being a professor looked like to me back then.
After giving up on professorship, I started searching for the right direction. I experienced cycles and cycles between finding the seemingly promising direction and later vetoing it and restarting all over again. I went through rounds and rounds of discussions with my husband, to whom the whole thing did not make too much sense in the first place. He is the type of person who would stick to his current direction and make every effort to do it right. He thinks that all other directions will probably be similar anyways and he would like to stick to the current one and achieve his best, unless there is some event that can prove the direction to be completely wrong. As I have later realized, there is no right or wrong in this situation. It is just a difference among different people. My husband could be right when he told me that I could have made bigger progress academically with the time and effort I spent searching for my direction.
I was the type of person who would like to know what choices are out there before making a commitment for life. Just to give you an idea, let me list all the things I have done during those years in order to find my current direction and professional goal, which are just perfect for me. I took several semesters of classes in Financial Engineering and later got a Masters from the IEOR department, as back then I planned to become a Quant on the Wall Street someday. I took several classes from the EE department and later attempted to get another Masters degree in that area but had to give up due to my pregnancy. I even thought about becoming an IP lawyer and took a class from the law school, which I enjoyed but had to drop it later also due to my pregnancy. (sorry, excuses again...) I also taught classes and thought about becoming a teaching professor somewhere close to home so that I can take care of the family. I dreamed about being a stay-at-home-mom sometimes as well. Or just simply openning up a flower shop or coffee-and-book bar
in China. I admit that I was young and restless. :)
However scattered or crazy these ideas may seem to others, I actually do not regret those days that I spend thinking and rationalizing these choices, as I believe that it was for these efforts that I am currently so certain about the job that I have now and the career path that I will take.
The purpose of sharing this past episode of my life is to encourage those people who think they do not know their goal of life to keep searching for it. If your desire is strong enough, you will find it, although you probably don't know how.
Frankly speaking, my current job does not fall into any of the catergories that I had thought about, yet it seemed so perfect for me once it knocked on the door, as I had analyzed my strengths and weaknesses so thoroughly during the search stage that I was so certain that THIS IS IT!
I hope all of you out there can find the goal or goals for your life. There are no right or wrong, or no big or small goals. It should be something that makes you feel fulfilled once you realize it in your life. Once you are certain about this, other things will become so much more clear and you will know what should be the right thing to do at any time instants. You will not be zigzaging but running directly towards your goal. How exciting it that?
Enjoy the process of searching!
I admit that I did not carry on the momentum since I came back due to different reasons. I even plan to give up my 90-day goal, which was to learn Japanese, since there has been changes of circumstances and now I do not have the imminent need to learn Japanese. There are other more important things that I need to take care of in the current stage of my life. Anyhow, "no excuse" should be the reply I use after reading the first chapter of Brian Klemmer's book "Compassionate Samurai", which simply says that if you are really committed to something, you do not have any excuses but to carry out your commitment. I admit flat out that I failed to carry out this commitment and I will do my best for the next one.
I had the compelling urge to write something down after today's meeting since the topic and the sharings during the meeting brought back so many past experiences and memories that I would like to share with others. Hopefully they will find it helpful to some extent. For privacy concerns, I will not discuss any individual's experiences but to refer to it in general. I hope my classmates will not find it offensive.
During the meeting, more than one person shared their uncertainty about what they want for their life. In retrospect, I experienced exactly the same thing in my entire PhD life at school. In all those 5 something years, I was searching for the direction of my life after graduation. I did not feel very enthusiastic about my PhD topic, which was probably one reason that I did not know what to do after graduation. Otherwise, I would probably have gladly became a professor somewhere. Although being a professor seemed glorious to lots of PhD students, including myself in the beginning of my PhD time, I knew that I was not the type of person who could sit in the lab all day working on some theory without interacting with the outside world. You could tell me that professors do more than that, or just do not do that. But it was what being a professor looked like to me back then.
After giving up on professorship, I started searching for the right direction. I experienced cycles and cycles between finding the seemingly promising direction and later vetoing it and restarting all over again. I went through rounds and rounds of discussions with my husband, to whom the whole thing did not make too much sense in the first place. He is the type of person who would stick to his current direction and make every effort to do it right. He thinks that all other directions will probably be similar anyways and he would like to stick to the current one and achieve his best, unless there is some event that can prove the direction to be completely wrong. As I have later realized, there is no right or wrong in this situation. It is just a difference among different people. My husband could be right when he told me that I could have made bigger progress academically with the time and effort I spent searching for my direction.
I was the type of person who would like to know what choices are out there before making a commitment for life. Just to give you an idea, let me list all the things I have done during those years in order to find my current direction and professional goal, which are just perfect for me. I took several semesters of classes in Financial Engineering and later got a Masters from the IEOR department, as back then I planned to become a Quant on the Wall Street someday. I took several classes from the EE department and later attempted to get another Masters degree in that area but had to give up due to my pregnancy. I even thought about becoming an IP lawyer and took a class from the law school, which I enjoyed but had to drop it later also due to my pregnancy. (sorry, excuses again...) I also taught classes and thought about becoming a teaching professor somewhere close to home so that I can take care of the family. I dreamed about being a stay-at-home-mom sometimes as well. Or just simply openning up a flower shop or coffee-and-book bar
in China. I admit that I was young and restless. :)
However scattered or crazy these ideas may seem to others, I actually do not regret those days that I spend thinking and rationalizing these choices, as I believe that it was for these efforts that I am currently so certain about the job that I have now and the career path that I will take.
The purpose of sharing this past episode of my life is to encourage those people who think they do not know their goal of life to keep searching for it. If your desire is strong enough, you will find it, although you probably don't know how.
Frankly speaking, my current job does not fall into any of the catergories that I had thought about, yet it seemed so perfect for me once it knocked on the door, as I had analyzed my strengths and weaknesses so thoroughly during the search stage that I was so certain that THIS IS IT!
I hope all of you out there can find the goal or goals for your life. There are no right or wrong, or no big or small goals. It should be something that makes you feel fulfilled once you realize it in your life. Once you are certain about this, other things will become so much more clear and you will know what should be the right thing to do at any time instants. You will not be zigzaging but running directly towards your goal. How exciting it that?
Enjoy the process of searching!
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